Tag: Authentic

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Impacted…By a Man in a Feed Sack

He was one of my influencers. His effect on my life didn’t come from meeting him, only by my perception of him from afar. In fact, I never met him, never shook his hand, or had an opportunity to talk to him. Regardless, I would say he was one of the most impactful people in my ministry. One of my hopes had always been to get an opportunity to meet him, but unfortunately, he passed several years ago, and I never got that chance. I only heard him preach a handful of messages, but each time there was a gentle, kind, and humble spirit that resonated from him. The intersecting moment came for me at a young minister’s conference I was attending in Louisiana. As the conference unfolded, some messages stirred my heart, others inspired my spirit, but it was the message by James Kilgore titled “Glory Robes or Sackcloth” that would change my life. As a young man I thought pastor Kilgore was old, but at the time he was probably only in his mid 50’s. He was somewhat short, had silvery white hair, and spoke with a classic southern drawl. What grabbed my attention this particular evening, along with 3000 others, was two things. First, as he stood to speak, he came with such humility as he made his way to the podium. He almost appeared to be uncomfortable as he stood before the crowd, and it was evident that he was burdened by what God was asking him to share. The second thing that overwhelmed me was the moment in his message when he put on a long fuchsia robe. Without much fanfare he began to speak about how he was afraid many ministers were living and ministering for glory robes. Today we would call it building our brand. Wearing the right clothing and shoes, running in the right circle of friends, projecting the correct social media impressions, preaching the latest trendy ideas. He wasn’t angry, no arrogance or condescending attitude, he was broken. When it would have been easier to preach something popular, he chose to preach the burden of his heart. He spoke of how authentic ministry must be about building Jesus’ kingdom, not ours. Forever I will remember him repeating the phrase, “oh, how we love to wear the glory robes,” but then he would follow up with, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” What happened about halfway through his message is what has forever been branded on my heart. He stopped and disrobed from the beautiful fuchsia robe, put on a feed sack, and for the remainder of the message, he preached in that simple sack. He wept and cried as he talked about how he and his wife had sacrificed so they could share the gospel. He shared how early in their ministry they often lived on very little. He told how the two of them would fast. He would fast every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and his wife would say,”well, if you’re going too fast, I am too. He spoke about going to small churches who couldn’t pay them and how sometimes they would have little or no food. He spoke of starting a church from basically nothing, and helping people who he knew would never be able to repay their generosity. He cried as he talked about those who were broken and they had helped, only to be betrayed once success came their way. He said, in the end it was worth it all that some might know Christ. At some point it was too much for me. I didn’t need the end of the message, I crumbled to my knees. That night I wept for over an hour, when I rose from the ground, I was empty, there were no more tears to be cried. I made a commitment, I wanted to have a ministry like James Kilgore. Sometimes the emotion of the moment wears off and you go back to life, moved but not changed. This would not be the case after this message. I returned to the college in Jackson Mississippi where I was working. Every night for a week I would go to my office and listen to the message. I still would weep, overwhelmed with conviction. During the week I would spend evenings praying for hours, pleading, and promising God I would minister as a man in sackcloth if he would use me. God granted that request, and for 35 years Mary and I have had the privilege of living out James Kilgore’s message. We’ve lived simply. We avoided drawing attention to ourselves; never seeking the limelight. We’ve lived to put others and the kingdom ahead of ourselves. We’ve prayed and fasted unceasingly, only longing to see a sovereign move of God. We’ve cried and wept enough tears to fill pools. We built a church and served the people; rich, poor, educated, uneducated, and every culture. We cared for those who had, and those who didn’t, it didn’t matter. We loved and smiled when we were hurt, forgotten, and abandoned, and we’ve given when we didn’t have enough for ourselves. When we walked away from pastoring, we knew it would come with great loss, but also knew that the Kingdom had to be above our ministry and our future. Many were shocked when they heard the news, but know this about Mary and I. A long time ago we heard a message and decided we would be ministers in sackcloth. We made a commitment that above all, it was souls that would be important, and His Kingdom would be our priority. As I mentioned, James Kilgore never met or spoke to me, but from a distance his humble life forever changed mine. Maybe when we get to heaven, we’ll get to meet him and tell him the story, but for now I share it with you. Why? Because it’s important to realize you are impacting someone by the life you live. You may never have a conversation with them or share a dinner, but you’re being an influencer. Understand the life you are living, the story you are writing, what you are doing, may be impacting someone in a far greater way than you could ever imagine. James Kilgore, thank you for your influence from a distance, I am forever indebted.

Pastor Kilgore’s Message, Humility: Glory Robes or Sackcloth


* This blog is a part of a series called the Tribute Series, My Influencers.

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Asbury. Absorb it. Bring it Home.

Asbury. For decades it’s been known as a place of prayer, a place of revival, a place where God visits. Yesterday we took a drive to be a part, to experience a sacred move of God. As soon as we stepped on to the campus, we felt a different atmosphere. The line to get into the building was subdued, a reverence, a quiet hush, we were entering into something like we never had. As we entered Hughes Hall, we knew we had entered a different realm, something we had never experienced before. I didn’t want to see or be seen. Instantly, I wanted to set down in my seat and fade into the fabric of the authentic and genuine presence of God, and I did. I didn’t need to speak nor hear or be heard, I simply needed to listen. Listen to the voices, listen to worship, listen to the piano…listen to the Spirit of God. In this room there are no organizations, religions, doctrines or creeds, there is one focus, Jesus. In this room it doesn’t matter what ethnicity you are, the color of your skin, your social or educational background, what you are wearing, all that matters is Jesus. We are from different states and nations, but we are one in passion, a hunger, and it’s all about Jesus. The focus is not on miracles, signs, or wonders. There is no one pushing, prodding, or commanding you to worship or respond in a certain manner. While well known Christian leaders are showing up, they are not being recognized or acknowledged, they too fade into the fabric of what is happening. There is a pureness in the room, a clean desire for God’s presence. One phrase describes the rooms atmosphere, a hunger to be in God’s pure presence. The petitions of prayers aren’t about asking, simply praises of adoring, adulation, and about the wonder and splendor of the magnificent God we serve. If there is any request, it seems to be, “God forgive us of our sins.” There is no schedule here, in fact there seems to be no time. There was a beginning, but at the moment there seems to be no ending. The next song isn’t on a piece of paper and there has been no preparation, the moment is feeble and simply follows the flow of the Spirit, like a river flowing without boundaries. There is no pressure to stand or sit, no command to raise your hands or shout, just embrace the Spirit as it is speaking to you. In this place you feel humble, small, and insignificant, God is here, and He is being high and lifted up and His train is filling the temple. If one is not comfortable, not at home here, then you won’t be at home in heaven. No man, no person is the focus. There is no fleshy singing, no singer by action or by talent is saying, “look at me.” No keyboard, guitar, or bass player drawing attention to themselves, there is a unity of focus, the glory is going to Jesus and Him alone. Even as I write it feels so unsacred, but a scribe, an author, must write down what is happening today, so we don’t get lost in living in yesterday. This generation must know of these events and of a living God. Today, here at Asbury, as in heaven, so on earth, all glory belongs to Him who sits on the throne. This is what church across America should look like. This is what America needs. Please! As they are pleading at Asbury, bring the experience to your heart and home. Our world is starving for more than an hour and fifteen minute Jesus appetizer, more than a manipulated move, or a lifeless experience. Asbury is a cry from a world hungry for an authentic experience with God.

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Make Room for Suddenly

The book of Acts covers from the ascension of Jesus to the death of Simon Peter and Paul. During the Acts timeline, Paul writes 13 books, 14 if you are of the belief that he is the writer of Hebrews. Simon Peter and James write another three, leaving just five books written after the Acts of the Apostles ends around 70 A.D. Nearly every epistle needs to be read through the prism of the book of Acts. The epistles are written during Acts to saints, people who have experienced the only Spiritual experience found in the 40 years that the book of Acts covers. I mention this because there is a word that catches my attention throughout the book. The word is suddenly, and depending on the version you read, it’s found over a dozen times. Luke wants us to know that much of what people witnessed in the book of Acts happened suddenly. It wasn’t planned, choreographed, or manipulated. The Spirit moved indiscriminately, at its own discretion, independent of any groups, agendas, or schedules. As we’ve started our sabbatical, we’re taking the opportunity to visit churches, something I’ve longed to do throughout my pastorate. I wanted to visit churches with different dynamics, see their systems, experience their services, and get a taste of their vision and passion. In some churches we’ve seen incredible vision, experienced great worship, and heard profound preaching and teaching, but left feeling like there was no room for the Spirit to have its liberty. Great experience, incredible talent, amazing messages, but no room for a “suddenly.” An hour to an hour and fifteen minutes and it was on to the next service or next week. In other venues we’ve left feeling like we were being hyped, manipulated, almost as if they didn’t need a “suddenly,” they could create a move of God on their own. Sing a song fast enough, repeat the chorus a dozen times, have a few timely key changes, and boom! A move of God. We left those services feeling like this was their Sunday routine. A lot of show, but not much substance nor dynamic growth happening in their lives. Different in style, but still no room for an authentic “suddenly.” In nearly every venue we’ve felt sincerity, God’s love, and a desire by each church for people to see Jesus and experience His presence. After some of our recent experiences, I returned to Acts to see when “suddenlys” happened. What I’ve found is that “suddenlys” happened in times of where prayer was the focus, “suddenlys” happened without scripts and programs. “Suddenlys” came without hype or manipulation and happened when people took time to seek God, were praying for His will, and were more concerned about God approval than what a crowd might think. As we’ve visited different church communities, we’ve heard this hunger communicated by others, “we just want to find a place where God’s presence can be experienced freely yet authentically.” Today, more than ever I’m sensing we need less polished, programmed, and planned church. We need less hyped-up, manipulated, and self-created services, and more desperate desire for a “suddenly.” We need more of what John 3:8 says, “like the wind blows. . . so does the Spirit.” Structure is invaluable, being relevant is critical, and doing things decently and in order should be properly balanced, but at the end of the day we need more divine intervention and more indescribable but undeniable. I pray that pastors, churches and more importantly, in each of our personal lives, we begin to desire more “suddenly there came a sound from heaven.”

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Who Are You?

In Acts 19 there is a story that we as Christians should take note of. The dialogue opens with a few men acting as if they know Jesus and have His power, trying to cast out an evil spirit. Hindsight allows us to see the sham that is taking place. Speaking to the evil spirit that possesses the man, the powerless man says, “I solemnly implore and charge you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches.” The phrasing of the man reeks of something missing. The response of the evil spirit to the powerless Christian imposter says it all. The spirit says, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know about, but who are you?” With that question the spirit physically attacks the man. The spiritually empty man runs from the house in fear with wounds and stripped naked. This story shouts a warning to people who profess to know Jesus but have no relationship with Him. Its people who act the part and say the right words, but their life is more symbolism than substance. Know this, those living symbolic Christianity eventually get exposed. You may not be assaulted or stripped naked physically, but an empty life eventually becomes visible to those around you. Paul warns Timothy of this in 2 Timothy 3 when he tells him to watch out for those “who have a form of godliness but deny its power.” Today I challenge you to be more than professing Christians, to be a person who has the true power of God. What does it require? An authentic relationship with Jesus and the power of the Spirit that was promised by Jesus before His ascension and experienced by the early followers in the book of Acts. Who are you? A professing Christian or a Christian who is living in the power of the Spirit. Regardless of what you say, your life will expose the truth.