A Bothered Heart

heartDavid is called, “the man after God’s own heart.” An amazing proclamation considering his life was anything but perfect. He was a man who failed and a man who seemed to live on an emotional yo-yo. He was a man who committed adultery and murdered her husband to cover up his lust. So, what is it that causes David to be called the man after God’s own heart? There are many opinions, and I’m not here to debate all the possibilities, but for me, it was that David’s heart was tender toward God. David is the only man in scripture that is described as having a heart that was smote; troubled or bothered by his sin. We get a glimpse of David’s heart when he is in hiding from Saul. He has been chased. He is weary, tired and dirty. His reputation and life seem to have been destroyed. He is living in hiding. He lives on the run and is constantly fearing for his life. It’s during this season we get a photograph of David’s heart. Saul comes into a cave where David and his men are hiding. David has a moment of opportunity to dispose of Saul. David’s men watch as he ever so slowly creeps up towards Saul, but instead of cutting his neck, he cuts the corner off of Saul’s robe. The men are left in shock and awe. When he returns to his men, I imagine they are setting in stunned silence. Finally, the questions come at David like a barrage of bullets. Why didn’t you take him out? What were you thinking? You had the perfect opportunity? His character and his answer leave his men more stunned than his actions. Tears begin to roll down his face as he says, I couldn’t touch him, he is God’s anointed. Then they watch as he goes out to the edge of the cave and calls out to Saul. He’s holding the piece of cloth he had cut; he bows to the ground and weeps as he says to Saul, “I could have killed you, but God said no.”  Simply touching God’s chosen, smote, or better, troubled, bothered, broke and pained David’s heart. To have a heart like that is what every Christian should pray. May I ask? What smites your heart? What troubles you? What causes us to set down and cry? What causes us to weep bitterly? God, give us hearts that are tender. God, give us hearts that confess and weep when we’ve done wrong. God, give us hearts that are bothered by what bothers you. God, let our hearts be bothered when we settle for less than what you have us for us.

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